Regrets are the end of you
by Milo.is.sexxy xx
Summary: Just a sad little oneshot. You cried every night for two weeks. You hated the fact that he moved on and you couldn’t do the same.


-1**A/N: I don't know where this came from. I just sat down and this is what came out. I hope you enjoy.**

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You stand quietly in the back, hoping to go unnoticed. You finally saw the pretentious asshole Logan was and broke it off. You haven't seen Jess in three years, six months, two hours and twenty-three minutes. It's been too long. Too long since the two of you would talk for hours about music or the underlying theme in a novel. It's been too long since his lips have been on yours and his hands roamed your body freely. You used to pretend that you were kissing Jess instead of Logan. During sex you'd have to bite your tongue or the brunette's name would've rolled too easily off your tongue.

You regret not going after Jess after the cops broke up Kyle's party. You regret that you didn't say anything when you saw his green duffel bag on the bus that Monday morning. You regret the day Jess told you he loved you and you just let him walk away. You hate that you said "no" for the wrong reason when he asked you to runaway. You only said "no" to hurt him like he hurt you. Jess was supposed to be your first, but he wasn't. Dean was. Dean was safe and reliable, but he could never make you feel the way Jess did. You became a home wrecker and hurt a girl you barely knew. You ran away to Europe with your grandmother to escape the mistake and the fight with your mother that resulted from your little indiscretion. You regret you never told Jess you loved him.

Jess was the only boyfriend you had that didn't royally screw up your life. You slept with a married Dean. Logan helped you steal a yacht. He threw you a felon party to congratulate you on your new record. He let you drop out of Yale and cheated on you with an entire bridal party. Jess shook you of your nightmare and convinced you to go back to school when no one else could.

After you broke up with Logan, you convinced Luke to give you Jess' address and phone number. You tried to write him a letter, but nothing came out right. That night you filled the trashcan with unfinished letters. You dialed the first nine digits of his phone number hundreds of times before snapping your cell phone shut. You only successfully dialed his phone number once, but at the sound of his voice you hung up. Now you know what he felt like when he called you at your high school graduation.

You remember the sad look Luke gave you when you walked into the diner one day. Your mother's expression mirrored Luke's and you knew something was going on. Your mother dragged you upstairs and told you the love of your life was getting married to another woman. You remembered hating Luke for not even telling you that Jess had a girlfriend. You cried every night for two weeks. You hated the fact that he moved on and you couldn't do the same.

'The Wedding March' brings you back to reality and you turn to watch the bride walk down the isle. She looked beautiful with her auburn hair softly curled. Her dress was breathtaking with its long train and blue flower detail.

You stop breathing when the priest asks if Jess will take this girl to be his wife and says he does. You will yourself not to cry when they kiss. You hate yourself for coming here and torturing yourself.

Before you can slip out of the church, he makes eye contact. You stand there not breathing and his mouth is slightly ajar. You give him a smile that doesn't reach your eyes. Tears start their path down your cheeks and you quickly wipe them away.

You can't stand being in the church any longer and you run out the way you came in. You hate that _she _is Mrs. Jess Mariano, and you aren't. _She_ gets to feel his lips on hers and sleep next to him every night.

As you leave the church parking lot, you can't help but think of what it would be like to be Mrs. Mariano. You have a new regret; you regret that you didn't realize sooner that Jess was "the one" for you.

A loud crash wakes you from your reverie. You're numb, but you can see the driver from the other car dialing a number furiously. You welcome the darkness that's enclosing your vision. When Jess left you when you were seventeen you felt like this: cold, numb but yet in so much pain.

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Lorelai heard the phone ring as she unlocked the front door. She rushed in.

"Hello?" She asked breathless.

"Is this Lorelai Gilmore?"

"Yes."

"My name is Officer McElroy. I'm sorry to report that your daughter, Rory Gilmore, is dead."

"Are-are you sure its her?"

"We're very sure. I'm sorry for your loss."

Lorelai dropped to the ground and started sobbing violently. Her only child was dead, gone forever. Luke found her in that same position later that night. He held her close to him and cried tears of his own. Rory was like a daughter to him.


End file.
